Today, 28th December, Friday i begin my story of my life, a life i have been hiding behind a smile, a smile i have carried with me for the past 6years of my life, a smile to hide the unbearable truth that life has laid before me..

I am actually a normal boy trying to make perfect out of my life, and over the years i see that if i lived in the shadow of my emotions and hid them deep within me, i could seem like the happiest person alive, but someone can onli hold in for so long. I've noticed myself becoming more and more different than i was, losing control of my very actions and feelings gushing out of my throat, too fast for me to grab hold and secure one.. A my seacrh for my perfection has left me in a most imperfect state..

Only thru this blog can i tell and pour my true feelings without being judged or spoken back... Those who know me, do not judge me for who i seem to be, i am very different than from wat u know me of...

With that aside, today's been a very calm day, when home on bus no.7 ard 6.22am and reached the intechange about 7.03am, actually slept on the bus and was awaken by the driver.. walked home like a half dead zombie and well was feeling kinda sad the whole morning even with the gang around staying up at Mcdonalds.. at least there was like a 25min period why i was kinda happy, i guess.. reached home, i took a shower changed and slept till 10am.. and been doing stuff, laying around till now, about 4.25pm.. feeling kind of tired but gotta go work later..

Life seriously has reach the end for me, i see no point in living but i still reach a spot of hope resting around me, hope so small that even i would be content just to hold on to it, but just as long as time allows me too.. and i've been asking strange questions ard, and well there r hidden meanings to them...

sometimes i wonder is life always like this or is there smth more that i have not seen to decide anything yet... all i know, i'm lost...