i'm having a breakdown now... and this is major... i dunch know how long more i can put things together before i explode... it's gonna be terrible and i know it's not over... if only FUCKING PEOPLE could do wat they do best... FUCK OFF!

after much thinking, i realised i have so much more to do then just study for my test tmr... i have like my meeting tmr as well, which is gonna be complete chaos cause some people have been having the time of their lifes when i'm always worrying on wat to do next... it's so not fair... i want a normal life sometimes too, i wanna like have time! which i dont... my 45 days of holidays are only left with 16 with nth on then... i feel so pathetic... and wats more i have to give up more days of that 16 for my FYP... which is like ridiculous! why not just cancel the damn holidays!?

and right now i'm buring up a fever and flu... and i have a paper in about 9 hours... i guessed i'm just damned or mayb its karma for me doing bad things.... i dunno... i believe things happen for a reason, i just dunno wat that is right now... =/

mayb some peple would say hey zaid, u're life isnt that bad... but yeah, u wont know right? so dun tell me to shutup with my complaining, i want to complain i shall complain! whee~! :D

so i think i'll head to bed... night... sigh..

man... i've been freaking busy with the freaking exams with 5 freaking papers which i dun freaking know if i can freaking do freaking well in.... which also reminds me i'm like freaing tired of breathing... it's so muhc hard work... i just wanna like lie in my on dreams... ahhh.... (smiles)

well, i'm not really updating, just wanted to drop and see if my blog's dead... apparently IT IS! =D

and so am i if i dun continue studying...

cya!

haha! enjoy! ok i guess not..

well, despite recent tiring events such as MUG @ Morbely, Tons of Laps at the school pool, not even getting proper rest(ok.. i shouldn't complain...someone i know has lesser la!), gyming, running... i haven't given my body enough rest over the past few month since school has started and well i wouldn't wanna be bragging, but yeah, i have been pushing my limits in life...

and right now, i'm like at the point where i wanna like just drop everything and run away... away from school, away from home and mayb live by the seaside where i can like recover and be surroundded by the greatness earth has to offer... and yes, i'm gicing up, mayb not because i cant do it, but i just dont wanna do this anymore, i'm just getting too much that i asked for and i'm just in need of a little time and space for myself u know? like to do the things that make me feel me and make me go like WHOA~!

and now, my i'm like being told that i'm not good enough for this and for that... and that i'mma dumb and well, it's not helping me la mum.... u gotta know how to like praise ur words u know, i'm just in a state where anything little just makes a whole lot of difference and makes it so much easier for me... and i dun know wat to think sometimes... i dun know wat people want me to think ALL the time...

lately things are going quite ok, and i wanna tell someone things but yeah, i guess it's not the time yet... and if u might happen to just look thru this, i wanna say that well... i do care, and well, i wanna make u happy everyday.. and of course if u saw this u'd be going "...... eh..... ok..." but.. well i guess that's life aint it... haha..

well, i wanna go and mayb find peace... wish me luck...

MAMAK! LOL! i'm tired...but i just wanted to...i'm tired...

i still am...

MARI KITA RAKYAT SINGAPURA SAMA-SAMA MENUJU BAHAGIA, CITA-CITA KITA YANG MULIA, BERJAYA SINGAPURA...... u know the drill.... well today, our nation celebrates it 43rd Birthday! well, i actually forgotten bout it until like 10am when someone msged me, 'Happy National Day!' and i was like OH YAR!!

well, today was a day where things happened... but they weren't bad... in fact they were quite the opposite.. (:

yeap, at least smth was worth it all... (:

i'm in school, club with farhan... hahaha... i'mma like supposed to be studying for statistics today but yeah, i've studied enuff... hahahaha... so yeah just pratically slacking and blogging... i have nothing much to blog about anyways... so yeah... i'm off... LURVVE you all... (:

Labels: spastic

well ytd, had two bbq, denan's bbq and also council bbq! was pretty fun! hahaha... well lost money at both bbq! damn sad la... everytime i am onli to lose... == well, been a hell of a bbq and i'm blardy tired...

so this is all i'mma updating fer now... till later.. (:

Labels: sick, tired